This has got to be my favourite saying. I heard it from a friend a while ago and it stuck in my head.
It really nails a point home in the right context.
For example, I’m estranged from my parents and have been for a few years now. It was a deliberate move for so many reasons. I will never allow them into my life again.
But growing up, before I decided to choose who was allowed into my life, I was stuck. Stuck in a situation where I craved being loved, like any kid would.
Craved the safety that should come when you think of your parents.
And when I didn’t have that, or only got it when it suited them, I blamed myself. If only I were more lovable, I would be loved.
If only I were less prickly, I would get comfort.
But you know… and I realize this now… I was trying to buy milk in a hardware store and then blaming myself because there was no milk to be found.
Isn’t it funny how we do that? How we take on the blame in a situation where it’s really not our fault? That the first response is, it must be something wrong with me?
Take a look around your life, if you’re doing this self blaming, and maybe ask yourself if there is any milk in the hardware store.
You can’t buy what they aren’t selling. And if they aren’t selling it, it’s not your fault. Go find a grocery store instead, there’s enough milk for everyone there.