September 12, 2018

Complaining for dummies

This week a friend sent me an email asking how things were.

I’ve spent the summer stressing about moving, about being a single parent, about ending my marriage and more. Stressing.

So I wrote this long email in response full of complaints about what was going wrong.

And when I read it back before hitting send, sitting in my gorgeous new home it felt a huge disconnect. Here I was, in my shiny new life, more than halfway moved in and I was complaining.

Yeah, some shit is annoying. Yeah, I have a lot going on.

But complaining can actually change how you perceive a situation and it isn’t helpful, it just makes a person bitter. It’s essentially self pity.

You are probably thinking that I’m a glass half full person and you’d be sorta right. I’m a glass completely full person, unless it’s wine and then my glass is empty. Pass the damn bottle already!

The thing is, the part of the glass that you think is empty is actually full. Technically it’s full of air, but I see it as full of potential. There’s room for more when the glass isn’t full!

Yeah my couches, tv, piano etc are not here yet. We’re sitting on kitchen chairs or on the floor at the moment. Yeah, I’m driving all over hell’s half acre because one of my kids doesn’t have busing yet though his sister at the same damn school does.

But there’s room in this house. Room for friends new and old. For parties. For laughter. For growth. For new memories.

It’s kinda fun to adapt to less stuff. Sitting on the floor isn’t something I do very often. My butt is actually looking pretty damn fine from the unexpected exercise.

I’m blessed with huge windows and so much light, plus a forest outside my back door.

I’m blessed with an ex who will help me do the school run in the morning so all kids get to where they need to go.

I feel like I can breathe again.

And when I flip things around from complaint to blessing, I’m full of gratitude. I focus on what I have and I feel richer in the things that matter. I am no longer in a state of pity or lack.

So in the end, I deleted that email my friend got a completely different one, without complaints.

And as for me? I got perspective, a full glass of life and gratitude for my nice butt. Not a bad result at all.