September 24, 2018

Does your past define your present?

I grew up being afraid of cats and dogs my whole life. Shaking and crying afraid.

Now I have three cats. I’m thinking about getting a dog.

I grew up knowing it was pointless to speak my mind. If my opinion differed from the adults’ I would be overwhelmed with intense arguments that were impossible to speak over.

Now every week day I write out my thoughts, though admittedly it took a while to get comfortable with sharing the deep stuff.

I grew up being afraid of travelling. Going to new places, eating new foods, not speaking the language… terrifying!

I crave adventure now. My travels have only ignited a fire that demands to be fed anything and everything. I will eat anything once, and often more than once (hello, oysters!), with abandon.

How much less rich would my life be if I defined my current path by my past experiences? How much less wonderful? How much power over my own autonomy and thoughts would I have given up?

I have had some pretty serious shit happen to me, especially growing up, but it doesn’t define me. It doesn’t own me.

I’m grateful for the lessons. I’m grateful for the compassion I learned. But I steer my life using other tools. My past is behind me. My future is ahead of me. One does not direct the other. I won’t let it.

My GPS is my heart and it’s got places to go, new things to try and a friend to visit.

What’s running your GPS? Does it need to be changed? The beauty is you get to choose. Choose yourself first, don’t let your past define your direction.

When you choose differently, anything is possible.

‘Scuse me while I go look at dogs now.

Who’d have guessed I’d end up here? Not me. Not at all. How wonderful!