October 30, 2017

I failed and I’m proud of it

It’s Monday and I haven’t sent an email yet. Oops. Tiny fail there.

I’m moving away from pop art for a number of reasons one of which is burnout. I’d call that a fail.

The commercial space that I moved into a year ago this week is now being occupied by a new business. My time there definitely could be considered a fail.

I shut down a lucrative business after 17 years. Probably a fail.

I moved my family out of the city to a small town eleven years ago. Most of us are ready now to leave this town. Fail.

And there are so many more fails. So why the fuck am I proud?

Because ALL of the fails, well maybe except for the email one, are because I DID something.

Pop art? Well, I’ve been painting that madly since 2015. And madly is the correct term. I’ve grown my audience from 13 people, all friends, to around 35,000 in that time.

The amount of painting I’ve done, plus the pressure I’ve been under this year, meant that burnout was inevitable. But I did things to earn it and I’m proud of the work I did from then until now.

The commercial space? I misjudged the town I live in. Forgot to factor in small minds and harassment. Had I been in a city, a diverse city, I’d be running a successful teaching studio. BUT I still made the leap. Did the things. Didn’t sit at home and dream.

The lucrative business? I’m proud of shutting it down. It’s terrifying to leap into the unknown but incredible to know when it’s time to stop something.

For me, money isn’t the be all and end all. We all have limited time in our lives, I want mine to matter. To not be a slog through things that no longer bring me joy.

And the move? Who does that? Well, I did. I looked around and decided that my kids deserved to be tossed outside to run wild with friends. To actually know my neighbours and have time to slow down.

The fact that we’re feeling done here is just a sign that the needs that brought us here have been met.

I never see failure as anything but positive. There are lessons to be learned for sure. I’m so grateful for them.

Failure is success because it means that things were done. Moves were made. Steps were taken.

What have you failed at recently?

Kind words. Small changes.  An ebook to brighten your today and tomorrow. From me to you.

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