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Want to feel loved? Love yourself first

I saw a post on Facebook that made me pause.

“I just want to feel loved.”

And I think that is a lot of us. Looking for someone to be our other half. Looking for validation and love from others.

It’s kinda what we’re taught growing up. But it’s so completely wrong.

In order to truly be loved, we have to start by loving ourselves. As we are. Where we are.

We have to change the conversations we have with ourselves. Use kinder words. Forgive our short comings.

I find myself talking really horribly to myself often. Every day. Things I would never say to a friend or even another human being.

In that state, it’s hard to truly love someone as an equal. Constantly putting yourself down immediately unbalances any relationship. Their love doesn’t add to you but creates a debt owing.

And leaving a relationship causes an internal panic too. Clearly they were the only idiot around to love you. You’ll be all alone now forever! Unloved and unlovable.

What if, and stick with me here, what if your best friend was you?

What if, when the negative self talk (and worse) happens, you just say “ok, thanks” and refocus on something more positive about yourself? Redirect your thoughts so that you don’t end up in the vortex of doom.

You know, we are not our thoughts and our thoughts aren’t always right or valid.

Re-read that.

We are not our thoughts. Not the sum of them. Not them.

And just because we have them, doesn’t mean they are right.

But imagine, if you had a best friend built in. Think of the in jokes you could have! Think of the dates you could go on with ZERO awkward conversation! Think of the movies you could see that you actually want to see!

Think of how much brighter your life would be because there would always be someone who loved you completely.

It’s a pretty attractive thought, right?

Right now, I want that so much I’m going to make it happen. Built in bestie. How cool is that?